Dropping Out

Flowering Almond buds

An article in the Jan/Feb issue of Orion ("Confessions of a Recovering Environmentalist") by English environmental writer Paul Kingsnorth caused quite a stir. Mainly because he basically said he's had it. No more words, no more trying to convince others to do anything to save the environment. He's leaving it behind to walk and breathe, and "listen to the wind and see what it tells me". For me, it was confirmation that I'm not alone. One of the reasons I stopped publishing Gaian Voices last fall was because it had simply become too painful to keep abreast of the devastation our so-called civilization wrecks upon the Earth. And I could see nothing changing for the better. Not in the larger picture anyway. It seems that no matter how many battles are fought and won, the war is being lost. We are being ruled and controlled by corporations that have been given more power than I can imagine possible over every aspect of our lives. Nothing I can do will change it.

Loving and caring for nature, writing the kinds of articles I have over the years, going on about the necessity to engage with Earth, to develop a participatory, reciprocal relationship with nature, with the more-than-human species here with us, is perceived as impractical, romantic (and that's never a good thing, right?), and worthy of eye-rolls rather than serious consideration. To a certain extent it always was this way but there were a few years that I felt headway was being made, where it was  okay to bring an earthy spirituality into the discussion. Today? Not so much.

Kingsnorth notes, "Today's environmentalism is about people. It is a consolation prize for a gaggle of washed-up Trots and, at the same time, with an amusing irony, it is an adjunct to hypercapitalism: the catalytic converter on the silver SUV of the global economy. It is an engineering challenge: a problem-solving device for people to whom the sight of a wild Pennine hilltop on a clear winter day brings not feelings of transcendence but thoughts about the wasted potential for renewable energy. It is about saving civilization from the results of its own actions: a desperate attempt to prevent Gaia from hiccupping and wiping out our coffee shops and broadband connections. It is our last hope. . . . I generalize of course. . . . Many who call themselves green have little time for the mainstream line I am attacking here. But it is the mainstream line. It is how most people see environmenalism today, even if it is not how all environmentalists intend it to seem. These are the arguments and the positions that popular environmentalism–now a global force–offers up in its quest for redemption."

We've all seen it. Mountaintop removal mining for coal is bad. But destroying mountain ridges for industrial windpower is good. And if you don't see it that way (and I don't - they are both bad), then, well, you're just a NIMBY or you're not willing to make the necessary compromises. To suggest that we must instead change our way of living and our expectations of what living in the 21st century and beyond (should humans survive that long) is to open ourselves to outright ridicule. Because very few people, and virtually no one in the mainstream, believes that it is possible to change how we live. It is generally accepted that if we are to curtail our use of fossil fuels then we must replace them BTU for BTU with something else. And this means we must be willing to destroy the environment, but in a clean, green way. To some this even includes fracking for natural gas, despite massive evidence to the contrary. But as I see it, destruction is destruction. It's all the same to the bear, deer, trees, fish, fungi, birds, salamanders, frogs, spiders, voles, and so on. I suppose to some it's a matter of degree. But as my father said every time a developer clearcut, paved, dug, built–in other words–destroyed, yet another piece of the woods or fields, "When it's gone it's gone. You can never get it back."

Certainly I too have fears of what life would be like without abundant electricity, without instant communication and information at my fingertips. But what I fear most is having these things disrupted more-or-less permanently suddenly, as a result of some form of violence (human or natural). And I know that this is quite likely given our head-in-the-sand mentality, and the reality of unpredictable weather "events" as they are now being called. But if we were to accept a less technological, less "convenient" lifestyle as a given and begin today to create systems that function well without electricity, without the need for instant communication, even without the need for gas or oil, we will be planning for real security, real sustainability. And not surprisingly, creating real community and relationships, human and otherwise, in the process.

But again, back to the main premise: It can't all be just about human beings. Any more than it can all be about me or you. The Earth is an organism and we live within it. Like worms live within the soil, like bacteria live within our gut, like birds live in the air. Ultimately, completely connected, part-of, inseparable from, one with.

When I moved to Maine and left my life as an activist behind (sort of), I did so because I was burned out. Not just by the activism itself, but by the way activists as people treat each other, expecting so much yet all-too-often giving too little. I was tired of the politics of projects and of fundraising. Most of all I was tired of fighting, tired of having to couch my beliefs in the language of the destroyers in order to be taken seriously. When we begin talking their language, we become them. Subtly over time. And so it has continued to happen. While more people than ever consider themselves "green" or "eco-conscious" the Earth is more assaulted, more degraded, more endangered than ever. How can that be?

We can rail about capitalism and we'd be right. But what good does that do? Things will change when people finally wake up. And right now the powers that be are trying (and succeeding) to keep people blissfully in dreamland. Just buy a Prius, hang your clothes outside, cut down on meat, recycle, buy natural, buy organic, buy, buy, buy. Keep the machine chugging alone and we'll still green ourselves and the Earth to death.

So what if I simply garden? What if I take pictures of beautiful flowers and share them? What if I make wonderful creams and salves that work, that are absorbed into people's bodies - a bit of Gaia under their skin? What if I go outside and breathe the clean spring air, with awareness in every breath that I am blessed to live in a place where the air is still sweet and clean (most of the time). What if I feel gratitude each day for the little things? What if I share the stories of the worms and the bees and the spirits of the herbs I lovingly harvest? Will these things matter? I believe they do. I believe they matter a whole lot.